My (Real) Top 10 Favorite Fictional Couples

Ok, so yesterday was Valentines Day, and there were just so many things posted on facebook and tumblr and whatnot that were sappy and gross that I couldn't resist putting together a satirical list of my 'favorite' couples (because if Bella and Edward are every on this blog in an un-ironic way you will know I have lost my mind). It is true that I am, as a rule, not overly fond of romances and books that focus heavily on those sorts of relationships, but even I have my favorites. So, without further ado, and in celebration of the post valentines day season, here's my completely non-ironic list of favorite couples.

10.) Jonathan and Mina Harker

From the book Dracula (I couldn't find a suitable picture of the two of them) they're a married couple who work incredibly well together to defeat the monster. Both Jonathan and Mina are essential members of the anti-dracula team, and their love for each other and for God goes a long way toward saving everyone.

9.)Goliath and Elisa Maza

From the show Gargoyles these two at the very least had a strong friendship, with more than a little romantic tension. Unfortunately the show was cancelled in its third season, but I can only hope they would have resolved things between them a bit more. The two worked well together and cared about each other deeply. I don't think it would be too much to ask for a little magical resolution for everyone (it's not like magic wasn't a thing in this show).  

8.)Guido and Dora

From the Italian film Life is Beautiful, Guido and Dora love each other through the horrors of WW2, sacrificing everything for their love and family. 

7.)Belle and the Beast (Prince Adam)

 Sure the Beast had a lot to work through (you would too if a fairy had turned into a monster when you were 11), and sure he imprisons Belle, but in all seriousness, I've always had a soft spot for the Beast. He clearly is a kind person (deep down). His servants see it, and Belle learns to too. I also choose to believe that they read to each other all the time after they got married.

6.)Remus Lupin and Nymphadora (Tonks) Lupin

Gah, these were my favorites in the whole Harry Potter series. Lupin is just such an awesome person, and Tonks is so funny and nice, and he just didn't believe that she could love someone like him, but she did and it's super adorable.

5.)Sam Gamgee and Rose

I just don't feel like I should have to explain this. They're perfect. 

4.)Redcrosse Knight and Una

From Edmund Spenser's The Faerie Queene. Because who better for the allegorical representation of England/ Holiness/ St. George to marry than the allegorical representation of Christian (protestant) Truth? Plus Una is a pretty awesome character in her own right.

3.)Haruhi and Tamaki

From Ouran Highschool Host Club. I know I mocked this in my satire post, but that's ok, because this show is itself a satire. It joyously mocks Shojo (girly romance) manga, while itself drawing you in to its own goofy love story. Tamaki is a bubbly idiot (albeit a rich and ridiculously good-looking, and strangely intelligent one), and Haruhi is an incredibly passive heroine, so needless to say their interactions are hilarious. But there's also a serious side to both characters that makes their budding relationship fun to watch.

2.)Shizuku and Seiji

Whisper of the Heart is probably one of my favorite movies, so it should be no surprise that these two are up here. I mostly love that, even though they're still really young, they encourage each other to grow to be the best people they can be (both form themselves and each other). In my opinion they have quite a future ahead of them. 

1.)Howl Jenkins and Sophie Hatter

From Howl's Moving Castle (The Book, not the movie). Howl and Sophie are my absolute favorites. Sophie is so feisty and practical, and Howl is an absolute drama queen. I love their characters in the book, and all the hilarious things they get into and how they help each other even when they argue. It's one of the best fairy stories I've ever read in terms of quality, and my personal favorite (ever). Love these two.

There you have it - my non-ironic favorite pairings!

Top 10 Fictional Couples (Satirical Edition)

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Since most of the world (and by world I mean America) is busy receiving gifts and foodstuffs from their significant others, and I'm sitting at home by myself eating birthday cake oreos, I thought I'd compile my 'Forever Alone Top 10 (INCREDIBLY tongue in cheek) Fictional Couples' Take a look at all this love and the beautiful relationships that you will never have everyone.  

10.) Usagi and Mamoru (Sailor Moon)

I can't think of anything more beautiful than the love between a middle school girl and a college aged boy. 

9.) Narcissus and Himself

You can't really love other people until you love yourself right?

8.) Ron Weasley and Lavender Brown

J.K. Rowling recently revealed that her pairing of Ron and Hermione was a mistake - and I couldn't agree more. Clearly Won-Won and Lav-Lav were meant to be.

7.) Haruhi X Everyone (Ouran High school Host Club)

Because who doesn't love a reverse Harem?

 6.) Wesley and Buttercup

What's worth living for? True Love. What does true love look like? A beautiful but flat princess character and a male Mary Sue. 

5.) Belle and Gaston

Gaston was a sincerely misunderstood character, and if Belle hadn't been blind to the oppression suffered by the proletariat class then she wouldn't have fallen for the bourgeois beast. 

4.) Humbert Humbert and Lolita

It's not Humbert's fault that he fell in love with a minor. Everyone should just leave him the heck alone to love who he loves.

3.) John Watson and Sherlock Holmes

John: "In case any one cares, I'm not actually gay."

Oh John, methinks the lady doth protest too much.

2.) Edward Cullen and Bella Swan

One of the most beautiful couples in all of literary history, the forbidden love between Bella and her stalker Edward gives hope to the rest of us lonely souls out there.

1.) Heathcliff and Catherine 

And finally, in the number one spot, the couple that taught us that if you really love someone you will verbally and physically abuse them in an intense and passionate way.

The link to my non-ironic post can be found here 

Two Sentence Movie Reviews January 2014

I suppose it's about time for another round of two sentence movie reviews - the game where I review movies I've seen recent(ish)ly and give my summarized opinion of them. The past couple months have been pretty good as far as films go for me. So, with that said, enjoy!

Thor 2: The Dark World

I did like this movie, but I thought that Thor was in it way to much. It would have been better if it had been called Loki. 31/2 gods of mischief out of 5

Desolation of Smaug

I'd been waiting for this movie all year - the dwarves, King Thranduil, THAT DRAGON! As a die hard fan I had high expectations and Peter Jackson (for the most part) did not disappoint me. 4 1/2 party elks out of 5

A Christmas Story

This was one of the weirdest movies I have ever seen in my life, and I'm really not sure exactly what I thought of it. There's a part of me that thought it was pretty funny, and another part of me that kept watching the screen in a horrified trance wondering what on earth was going on. 2 1/2 red rider bb guns out of 5????

Frozen

I think it's a testament to the power and strength of this movie that I literally (and I mean literally figuratively) have not stopped singing the songs since I first saw it. This film had such a good plot and great characters and a wonderful message that I can't even... 5 icicles out of 5

Spirited Away

My Christmas gift to myself was just as good as I remember it being, even if no one else in my family thinks so (what do they know). Powerful storytelling from one of my favorite directors/ screenwriters/ artists. 4 & 9/10 soot sprites out of 5 

Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger

Another strange an quirky Christmas movie from jolly old England. I'm not sure whether it was David Tennant, the adorable children, the 'A Dickens Christmas' song, or the English accents, but even though this was one of the strangest movies I've ever seen, I loved it. 4 ridiculous Christmas songs out of 5

The Day of the Doctor

Even though season 7 didn't live up to my expectations, the 50th anniversary did not disappoint. The show got a new direction and David Tennant got to be the Doctor again - I loved it. 4 awkward 'moments' (see what I did there) out of 5.

Ghostbusters 

I'm usually all for campy effects, ridiculous plot lines, and bad acting, but this cult classic was missing something for me. It just didn't have the same punch as The Labyrinth or The Dark Crystal or The Neverending Story, I could go on. 3 marshmallow puff men out of 5. 

Titus 

From the director of your childhood favorite The Lion King comes this bloody Shakespeare tragedy based on Ovid. It was so ridiculously brutal and sadistic that I was traumatized - but I loved it. *Warning* I know that it's Shakespeare, but it's early Shakespeare and it's super R rated for just about everything you can think of. There's murder and mutilation and sex and rape and incest (??) and everything. It's great (and I don't say that lightly given everything else), but watch at your own discretion. 4 bloody stumps out of 5.

The Taming of the Shrew

Was it misogynistic? - That's open for debate. Was I laughing almost the entire time? - Yes, yes I was. 4 shrill screeches out of 5.

Against the Purists: The Desolation of Smaug

   
     So, it's been a while since The Desolation of Smaug came out, and it seems to me that it's been a bit of a polarizing film. People I know who've seen it either loved it or hated it. Of the people I know who hated it almost all of them are die-hard book fans - Tolkien purists. So, seeing as how The Hobbit is one of my top two favorite books of all time, I thought I'd defend the new movie from the rabid purists. I really do love The Hobbit. I've read it nearly twenty times, so it's not like I'm only sort of familiar with the story. I quote this book, man. In addition to The Hobbit, I've also read The Lord of the Rings multiple times and I own nearly every work Tolkien ever wrote (and I've read most of them too). If there is a club for die-hard Tolkien fans I think I should be allowed to be a member. And yet, I still loved the movie. How on earth could I do that seeing as how Peter Jackson changed almost everything (I say almost everything, but that's not quite true. Almost every line from the book is used in the movie, and it's still amazingly different from it's source material).

    If you are a purist the first important thing to keep in mind when watching the new movies is that they will not be like the book. If it were, it would actually be a terrible movie. The book's plot structure is more episodic than it is streamlined. If this were a mini series you would probably be able to follow the events in the book pretty closely, but in a movie you have to make each installment able to stand on its own. Each installment must be able to stand on it's own as a story, but still be able to connect to the other films. This is incredibly difficult to achieve, and Jackson had to add some things in to make it work. Having Orcs chase the Dwarves literally pushes the plot forward. It also makes the threat of the Necromancer more urgent. The Necromancer is not in the book, but his being driven from Mirkwood by the White Council is concurrent with the events in The Hobbit. Purists may understand that the Necromancer needed to be taken care of, but viewers who haven't seen the books need a more obvious reason. If the Necromancer is sending orcs to chase our heroes, you bet Gandalf needs to take him down. I think once purists get over the fact that things happen in the movie that don't happen in the Tolkienverse, it's pretty easy to see that some of the changes were necessitated.

     In fact, one of the changes that Jackson made I believed actually made the story better. At the beginning of the first installment Bilbo tells the story of the fall of Erebor. The tale has a very Medieval feel to it. Sure the Dragon came and ruined everything, but he came in response to a sickness that had grown in the heart of Erebor's king - Greed. Dragons themselves are mythological symbols of Greed, so the story of The Hobbit in many ways is the tale of the destructive power of greed. This is all in the source material, but I thought that Jackson did a better job of bringing this element out. Thorin inherits his grandfather's sickness, and we see it start to poison him in The Desolation of Smaug. Some of the liberties that Jackson takes allow him to more fully develop some of the themes of the source material.

    Now, that doesn't mean that I agree with all of the changes. I didn't mind Legolas being included (and in fact I thought his presence added a lot), but Tauriel drove me insane. It might have been fine to include an OC (original character), but I didn't like the way that she was used to inject unnecessary romantic tension. Because never, ever, ever, ever, ever *spoiler* ever, ever, ever, ever EVER would there ever be a romantic relationship between an elf and a dwarf... ever. There are canon reasons for this. First of all, elves are the true children of Eru and the Dwarves are adopted. The elves hold themselves as being inherently better because of this. Tension right there. Second of all, Tauriel is a Sindar elf, and Sindar elves hated dwarves, because dwarves literally burned down their great kingdom in Doriath and murdered Thingol, one of the greatest elves ever, and the Sindar king. Sindar elves hated dwarves. The whole Legolas and Gimli friendship was a big freakin' deal. Third of all, Kili would have grown up his whole life thinking that elves were gross because they didn't help his great-grandfather Thror. So the whole Kili/Tauriel thing was a load of crap. *Spoiler* However, this was a minor aspect of the movie and shouldn't have ruined it for people.

     

     There were plenty of reasons to enjoy the latest Hobbit installment, and many things that Peter Jackson did a fantastic job with. Bard the Bowman was a great character. He and his family added a bit of a human element that was missing. And please, can we talk about that dragon? That was literally one of the best dragons I have ever seen in a movie. No, I take it back. That was THE best dragon that has ever graced the silver screen. Smaug was beautifully animated. Every scene that he was in was simply stunning, and his voice work was magnificent. The dragon alone is enough to atone for everything that may or may not be wrong with that movie. The barrel scene was a lot of fun. They added Beorn. How many other film makers would have included Beorn? Also Beorn was awesome. They added things from the appendices. Movie goers have the opportunity to see how the events of The Hobbit influence The Lord of the Rings aside from just the finding of the Ring. It's an important tie-in that most directors would leave out.

     Peter Jackson took on an incredibly difficult task when he decided to make The Hobbit. He was, in essence, working backwards. The Lord of the Rings trilogy are unquestionably fantastic movies. They are also epics, and they were made first. Jackson, then had to take The Hobbit, a children's book, and try and make it fit with the epic scope of the trilogy without making it not The Hobbit. It's not easy, and he does mess up sometimes. Ultimately, however, I think the purists should be thankful. At the end of the day one our favorite books is getting made into a movie by someone who loves the book as much as we do. He's careful to try and make it accessible to those who haven't read any Tolkien, while putting in content and references that should excite old fans. Are there some things I would do differently if I were making the movies? Absolutley - but that's the thing. I'm not making the movies. Purists need to understand that Peter Jackson's Hobbit is an adaptation. It's not like Tolkien himself is making the movies (if he were they would never get done), they're made by a fan. So, don't go in expecting the version of The Hobbit that you had in your head, because that's not what you're going to get. Instead, go in expecting what is essentially a big budget fan-tribute. I don't think that lessens the value of the movie, in fact I think it raises it. In the end, these movies were made by people like us, people that love these books and are doing their best to bring to a wider audience.

Movie Recommendation: Whisper of the Heart

     I had an idea for a new series of posts: Movie and book recommendations! It's as straightforward as it sounds. I pick a book or movie that I really like and recommend it to the world (explaining why, of course I recommend it, and giving all the necessary cautions). Anyways, enough of this introductory nonsense - to the post!

     Alright, so I think it's official. Whisper of the Heart is my absolute favorite movie ever in the whole entire world. I want everyone to understand that this was not a light decision. I've literally been considering whether or not to declare this movie as my favorite for a long time (it's a big deal ok?). It is one of the best stories I have ever encountered. For those of you not familiar with it, Whisper of the Heart is an anime movie produced by Studio Ghibli (a Japanese film-making company that partners with Disney). It follows a middle school girl named Shizuku as she tries to discover both who she is and what she wants to do with her life. Shizuku lives a simple life, dominated by her love for stories and writing. One day she notices that all the library books she has have been previously checked out by the same person: 'Seiji Amasawa'. Curious as to who he is, Shizuku meets a boy her age whom she finds infuriating, but discovers to her shock that he is her 'Prince of Books'. As she grows closer to him, she realises that he merely read all those books to bring himself closer to her. The boy Seiji aspires to be a violin maker in Italy, and it is his dreams that make Shizuku realise that she has no clear path for her life. Knowing that her strength lies in writing, she tests her talents by writing a story about Baron, a cat statuette belonging to Seiji's grandfather. 

     The Ghibli movies are starting to gain recognition in America, but they're still not what I would call 'mainstream'. This is a pity because they're collectively some of the best movies I have ever seen. But for me Whisper of the Heart stands out as the best (most people like Spirited Away or Princess Mononoke the best, which is fine, but most people haven't actually seen this one). Now, let me tell you why I love this movie, and why you should watch it.

     It’s one of the most beautiful stories I’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing. I love the characters and the way that it looks, but mostly I love what it teaches. It teaches that the people you love should make you want to grow, to be a better person. It teaches that they should not only support you, but you should also support them. It encourages you to explore, to take risks to discover not only who you are but also who you’re capable of becoming. And, most importantly, it shows that it’s not enough just to want something - you have to put in effort to see what you have inside of you, and, once you find what you have, to not expect it to be perfect on the first go. Instead you have to polish and refine it. It’s not just a beautiful love story, it’s a story about hard work and self-discovery, a story encouraging viewers to be as braze as Shizuku and Seji (the boy playing the violin), to improve both for the ones you love and for yourself. 

     As both a writer and an academic this hit home particularly well. Sure the characters in the story are middle schoolers, but I (and most people I know) share in their doubts and struggles. The whole 'what if I'm not good enough,' 'I don't know what I want to do,' 'if I did know, how do I know if I could do it?' struggles that most people deal with are central to the movie's plot. It answers all those doubts and fears in a very realistic and encouraging way. The whole point is not that you can do whatever you set your mind to, but that how do you know until you try? Sometimes you can't do what you want. Sometimes you're not good enough. Sometimes you have potential, and if you have potential it's important for you to do everything you can to help it grow, to refine potential into skill, to become better. It won't be easy, but the things that are most important never are. I think we need more stories like that.

I recommend this movie for all human beings everywhere. The only slightly objectionable content occurs when Shizuku's older sister is speaking with Shizuku and is about to take a shower. We briefly see her in her bra, but the scene is not meant to be sexual, and it's a very modest bra. Other than that it's 100% safe. Another thing to note, this is a Japanese movie that takes place in Japan. It may be a little hard for Western viewers to understand everything since it takes a lot of cultural things for granted. This movie follows a western plotline pretty well, and the cultural differences shouldn't be too distracting (I say this because people in my own family were initially turned off because it wasn't what they expected). I would, however, suggest watching it in Japanese. There is an English dub, and it's a good dub, the only thing is that this movie takes place in Japan and there are several plot points that make more sense if you watch it in the original language (Shizuku is working on translating the song Country Roads by John Denver from English to Japanese). Also, the English dub slightly changes the end, and I understand why they did it, but I didn't feel like the change was faithful to the themes that the film draws out. If you've never seen a Studio Ghibli film before this is a good place to start, and if you have, it's one of their best ones. So go, take this recommendation and follow it. You're welcome.

Journey of the Magi

The Journey of the Magi

     A cold coming we had of it,

Just the worst time of the year

For a journey, and such a long journey:

The was deep and the weather sharp,

The very dead of winter.”

And the camels galled, sore-footed, refractory,

Lying down in the melting snow.

There were times we regretted

The summer palaces on slopes, the terraces,

And the silken girls bringing sherbet.

Then the camel men cursing and grumbling

And running away, and wanting their liquor and women,

And the night-fires gong out, and the lack of shelters,

And the cities hostile and the towns unfriendly

And the villages dirty, and charging high prices.:

A hard time we had of it.

At the end we preferred to travel all night,

Sleeping in snatches,

With the voices singing in our ears, saying

That this was all folly.

     Then at dawn we came down to a temperate valley,

Wet, below the snow line, smelling of vegetation;

With a running stream and a water-mill beating the darkness,

And three trees on the low sky,

And an old white horse galloped away in the meadow.

Then we came to a tavern with vine-leaves over the lintel,

Six hands at an open door dicing for pieces of silver,

And feet kicking the empty wine-skins.

But there was no information, and so we continued

And arrived at evening, not a moment too soon

Finding the place; it was (you may say) satisfactory.

      All this was a long time ago, I remember,

And I would do it again, but set down

This set down

This: were we lead all that way for

Birth or Death? There was a Birth, certainly,

We had evidence and no doubt. I have seen birth and death,

But had thought they were different; this Birth was

Hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death.

We returned to our places, these Kingdoms,

But no longer at ease here, in the old dispensation,

With an alien people clutching their gods.

I should be glad of another death.

— T.S. Eliot

This is one of my absolute favorite poems. Happy 12th Night and Happy Epiphany! 

Theological Musing

    

     This may be a stupid thing to post about, but I’ve noticed more and more recently that people refer to Adam and Eve’s innocence in the garden as mere naivety. They use phrases like ‘before Adam and Eve knew right from wrong,’ or ‘when Adam and Eve sinned they learned the difference between good and evil.’ This is simply not true. Adam and Eve already knew the difference between right and wrong, between good and evil. Good was acting in obedience to God’s commands, evil was disobeying Him. What they lacked was an experiential knowledge of good and evil. That’s why God placed the tree in the garden. Even if Adam and Eve had not fallen into sin they still would have gained the knowledge of good and evil, but it would have been a victory for them and not a defeat. If they really didn’t know the difference between the two then there was no sin and they were unjustly punished. The point is that Adam and Eve did know the difference between right and wrong. Their sin was intentional and deliberate and they failed the test God had placed for them. They gained an experiential knowledge of good and evil, but they gained in the defeat of sin.

Thank you for your time.