Beautiful People May 2012

Beautiful People: Villain Edition

Maude/ Gizzen – For the purposes of this post it will be referred to as Maude. Maude is one of the main antagonists in a book I’m attempting next month that, as of yet, has no title. It is a creature that lives in the lower spiritual dimension and serves the real main antagonist of the story. Notice I said ‘it’. That is because, strictly speaking, Maude has no gender, but has chosen to give itself the appearance of a little girl, because it can shape shift. Also because who would suspect a cute little girl of anything nefarious?

It works to create nightmares for humans on earth and, when it wants to be frightening, looks like this: 

 although it has no real permanent shape. It’s not a very nice creature at all and serves no real purpose but to make life more terrible for human beings

1. What is their motive?

If it doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do there will be pain involved. The people it works for aren’t very nice.

2. What are they prepared to do to get what they want?

Anything you can think of. Whatever mean suit its ends are acceptable.

3. Are they evil to the core, or simply misunderstood?

It’s pretty evil to the core. It does, however, like to believe that it’s misunderstood, but that’s just self pity.

4. What was their past like? What about their childhood? Was there one defining moment that made them embrace their evil ways?

Well, Maude is supposed to be a sort of demonic creature, so its far away past was pretty wonderful. The defining moment for evil was when it picked the wrong side of a cosmic war… oops.

5. Now that they're evil, have they turned their back on everyone, or is there still someone in their life that they care for? (Brother? Daughter? Love interest? Mother? Someone who is just as evil as they are?)

Maude cares for itself, almost. Since it’s a completely fallen creature it’s not really capable of even self love, so no. It just exists in a sad, pathetic, demented state. It will do whatever it can to promote its own self interest (which is, of course a losing battle since it’s destined for eternal damnation) and betray and backstab any and everyone it thinks it can (think the Screwtape letters)

6. Do they like hugs?

Sure! Hugs are fun! Especially if you can take someone by surprise and stab them in the back (literally) when they’re most vulnerable!

7. Are they plagued by something? (Nightmares? Terrible thoughts?)

Guilt, self-pity, self-loathing, all of which are turned in a demented rage against humanity.

8. Who are they more similar to: Gollum or Maleficent?

Probably somewhere in the middle. Maude is Gollum like to those who are stronger than it, but is also cool and calculating. It’s not a sniveling incapable servant. It can sense weakness a mile away and has many clever and crafty methods for exploiting those.

9. If your villain could have their choice of transportation what would it be?

Please, Maude can travel through time and space with a thought. These primitive and animal human monstrosities hold no value for a capable and powerful creature such as it.

10. If you met your villain in the street, how afraid would you be? Are they evil enough to kill their creator? 

I’d be pretty freaked out. Maude probably couldn’t physically harm me, but I’m sure it would love the opportunity to deal out some serious psychological harm. It deals in nightmares so I’m sure it would have no scruples with acting out in the open, even in a materialistic society.

And now, for the most important question: Does the dark side really have cookies?

Of course we do! They're fresh out of the oven and your favorite kind! All we ask in return is your soul... Seems legit.

Book #5: Kingdom Keepers: Disney in Shadow

Kingdom Keepers III: Disney in Shadow, By Ridley Pearson

Summary:

                From one of the authors who brought you Peter and the Starcatchers (which were pretty great books btw) comes a series about the Disney theme parks themselves! Yes, this is the third installment in the Kingdom Keepers series, a series that follows the adventures of several middle schoolers as they try to save the Disney Theme Parks from Disney Villains that have come to life called the Overtakers. In this book these children must look for their lost commander, Wayne, whose being held in either Epcot of Hollywood studios, and it is these parks that take the spotlight this time around.

                Ok, so this Christmas, when we drove to Arizona, we listened to the first two of these books on tape. They were pretty fun so I’ve decided to finish the series this summer.

Sexual Content: 10/10

     Let’s go with zero. This is a book about middle schoolers, there isn’t even any kissing. In fact, I believe that the line "girls are gross" appears a few times in this book.

Spiritual Content: 10/10

     I don’t remember this being addressed at all in the books. #notthatdeep

Violence: 10/10

     There really isn’t any violence. Well, I take that back, Maleficent gets cut a few times with a sword, but, come on, she had it coming.

Plot: 5/10

     It was a cute story. Not one of the best ever. It was fairly engaging, although it did drag on a bit.

Style: 3/10

     I have many complaints that fall into this category. Pearson, it seems to me, has trouble keeping the points of his stories straight. There are several things that don’t match up across the books in the series, which makes it confusing to read at times. Also, in the book itself there are several contradictory parts. There are instances when character names are mistakenly interchanged. It’s kind of like he never edited the story, and I’m like ‘really?’ It’s a bit frustrating at times. I wish there were more consistency across the books and within the story. As it is, it feels incredibly arbitrary from chapter to chapter.

Character: 4/10

     The characters are archetypes. It wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t remind me of one of those shows from the 90’s where every race was represented and everyone had their own specific talent and could do nothing outside of that, and everyone celebrated Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.

  

    

Also, this is a book about DISNEYWORLD but none of the Disney people are really characters. This frustrates me. I mean, there’s always maleficent, but he’s changed her so much she’s like nothing from the movie. The characters leave me feeling empty and disappointed inside. Also, some of the kids have stupid talents – tenacity…. what is this? Twilight?

Theme: 0/0

     Was there even a theme??????????? Working hard as a team will help you win the day?

Overall Conclusion: 4/10

     This isn’t nearly the worst thing I’ve ever read. It’s a cute story that’s clean and safe for all ages. It’s just not that well written and not that deep. I really did like the first book in this series, I’m just getting more and more disappointed with where this book is (not) going (anywhere exciting). I wish that real Disney characters could play a bigger role. As it is all the good characters seem kind of dumb and the evil characters… pointlessly nefarious.

Next Book: Father Brown Stories. 

Book # 4: Scaramouche

Scaramouche, by Rafael Sabatini

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will you do the
Fandango?!

Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me!
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Figaro - magnifico 

-- Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen

Sorry, I couldn’t resist! Number four complete for the summer challenge! Also, I’d never heard of this book until recently, so now it’s two that I have read, and two that I hadn’t!

Summary:

     This is the story of a man named Andre-Louis Moreau. He is not a man of action, but a man of passive thinking, who believes the world to be quite mad. And, of course, he is correct in thinking this as France plummets into its infamous revolution. A pseudo member of the French Aristocracy Andre-Louis finds his position in society hanging precariously, as he is neither accepted by the French Aristocracy, and can't quite base himself enough to become a member of the lower classes. Of course, these things don't bother him nearly as much as the brutal murder of his best (and only friend) by a fiendish aristocracy, and Andre-Louis soon finds himself on the run from just about everyone become within the space of a few years a lawyer, and master fencer, a revolutionary, and, always, the indomitable Scaramouche in his long and invariably side-tracked quest for vengeance.

If you find yourself wondering just what exactly a Scaramouche is, please follow this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scaramouche

Sexual Content: 7/10

     Andre-Louis is the product of an illegitimate unioun between two individuals (this is part of the mystery of the book so I won't tell you who). This is condemned, even by Andre-Louis himself. Several characters engage in extra-marital affairs, but this is presented as a deplorable things to do and it ruins several relationships. The main (good) characters never condone or engage in such behavior.

Spiritual Content: 6/10

     This book is steeped in the French Rationalism that dominated during the French Revolution. God is considered unnecessary, and the belief that man, and inherently good creature is capable of creating a utopia here on earth is pretty prevalent in the novel. I could spend a long time refuting this ideology, but it pretty much refuted itself in the outcome of the French Revolution, so, that's all I have to say about it. Still, it's not a huge part of the book, this isn't a revolutionary manifesto. It was written by an Italian in England long after the French Revolution, so there.

Violence: 6/10

     Alright, so, for being a book set in the midst of the French Revolution it's remarkably bloodless. So, you may ask, why the relatively low score? Allow me the privilege to briefly mount my soapbox and to speak to you on the silliness of duels. There are many duels in this book, and I find them to be rather silly. They solve nothing, and they're excuses to kill people for injuring your pride. Really? I called you a name and now you're going to kill me? Really? It's like these men never stopped being five years old. It's incredibly pathetic. Ok, so someone insults you, that doesn't mean you get to stab them with your sword. That's just silly. Thank you for your indulgence.

Plot: 6/10

     It was a decent story. It had all of the appropriate ups and downs of a good adventure novel. It was, however, incredibly predictable. I called all of the major twists in the story within the first half of the book. I enjoyed the story, I just wished I could have been kept in the dark for a little bit longer.

Style: 8/10

     The style was nice. It was always mildly humorous and I liked the narrator's voice. The text wasn't very obscure or hard to understand, the words were pretty straightforward. He did tell you a lot about stuff that happened historically with the Revolution which, while irritating to me, wasn't that distracting from the story. It was also cool how he tied Andre-Louis to an anonymous historical Revolutionary figure. The writing, overall, was clever and neat.

Character: 10/10

     And this is where the book wins the prize! I would give this an 11/10 stars if that were even remotely possible. This book serves more as a character drama than as anything else. The plot is predictable, but that's really ok, because it's like you're watching Andre-Louis grow up. It creates a really nice sense of Dramatic Irony. You spend the whole time like "When is he going to figure it out???!!??!?!??!?" and then, you're really happy when he does. I really loved Andre-Louis. He's one of those characters that gets stuck in your head and never leaves. The story is told mostly from his perspective, but what's really awesome is how the author tries to eliminate any character bias. Whenever you're tempted to just see the world from Andre-Louis' perspective and judge everyone the way that he does Sabatini throws in a sentence that makes you go "woah, Andre is actually acting like a brat right now" or "Oh, I guess that guy wasn't as bad as I thought," "Or, nooooooooo what are you doingggggggg? They're terrible people!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!" This maybe belongs in Style, but I'm putting it here, because I think it fits with Andre-Louis being an awesome character. The reader is solidly in the audience which allows them to understand Andre in ways that you don't get to understand most other characters, and it's just really cool. The character development is about as near to perfect as I've ever seen anyone come.

Theme: 7/10

     Scaramouche deals mostly with the idea that humanity as a whole is a really crazy group of beings. I honestly haven't thought that much on this subject, but I can see how it's appropriate for the time in which the story is set. Humans in France during this time were a pretty unstable lot. What I do like is how, even though Andre-Louis sees all humans as being, at bottom, mad, he can forgive them for this. He really understands the people around him, and doesn't (for the most part) hold their faults against them. He's able to forgive most anyone just about anything once he understands why they acted in the way that they did. I'm not sure I agree with it philosophically, but it's certainly a commendable notion.

Overall Conclusion: 9/10

     Ok, this may seem a bit arbitrary, so sue me. While some aspects of this book may have been lacking in quality (and not really lacking that much) it is, 100% worth reading. It's a good story, that's worth reading solely for the characters in it. There aren't many books that can stand on there characters alone, and this is one that could (even though it doesn't have to). It has, honestly, become one of my favorite books and I give it my hearty recommendation!

Next Book: The Kingdom Keepers: Disney in Shadow (taking it down a level!)

Book #3: The Black Arrow

So, I've been watching old T.V. shows all day, and thought I'd do something productive in between episodes of Mork & Mindy.

The Black Arrow by Robert Louis Stevenson 

Finally! A book that I haven’t read before, and number three of my summer challenge! I am now, officially, 10% of the way to meeting my goal!

Summary:

The Black Arrow is a bit of a Robin Hoodesque tale. It takes places, however, not during the Crusades, but during the War of Roses. The story follows a boy named Richard (Dick) Shelton as he makes the shift from orphaned squire to outlawed renegade, to Sir Richard, Knight. It also follows his growth from impetuous boy to star-crossed lover. It is filled with mystery, intrigue, revenge, war, and, ultimately, heroism.

Sexual Content: 10/10

This story was very clean. There are a few kisses bartered, but that’s about all.

Spiritual Content: 10/10

This is set during the War of Roses and the European world was bursting at the seams with religion. It was as much a part of life as was air. Religion isn’t, by any means, a focus of this book, but it is treated very respectfully. Since, of course, the War of Roses took place before the Protestant Reformation the dominant form of Christianity was Catholicism. All religious references made within the book are understood within this context.

Violence: 9/10

This is a book about knights during a time of civil war. There is violence, but nothing that I found too disturbing. Several people are hung, many are stabbed or shot with arrows, but nothing is described in graphic detail.

Plot: 9/10

This was a great story. It had something in it for everyone: Romance, mystery, betrayal, intrigue, revenge, historical references, outlaws in green livery, etc. It was an east story to follow and the ending was immensely satisfying.

Style: 8/10

There was nothing truly remarkable about the style of this book, other than the fact that it didn’t bog you down with unnecessary details. That, in of itself, is enough to warrant a high score from me. Stevenson assumed that his readers would be familiar with the period in which he wrote, and that, if they were not, they could easily familiarize themselves with it (which, now, is not so unjust an expectation). I love it when authors just tell you the story. I don’t care about every flower in the meadow or about the deep history of a particular rock in a field. I bought the book to read the particular story in it, I don’t need you to tell me a dozen others!, Stevenson always does really well in that regard.

Character: 6/10

I enjoyed the characters. I really did! They just weren’t the best characters ever. They were nice, but somewhat lacking in personality compared, say with the infamous Richard of Glouscher. Dick was nice, but seemed to be confused. At times he was hot headed and impetuous, and at others he was really cool and mature. I also thought that he fell in love way too fast, given the circumstances… Joan also, was lacking something (I’m not sure what). I did, however, very much like Jack Matcham. They were all good characters, they just weren’t great.

Theme: 8/10

The themes of this book were pretty fun. It explored the nature of heroism as it related to questions of loyalty and honor. Dick, of course, is the hero, but he doesn’t have all of the answers at first. In fact, no one around him really has the answers either. He has to discover true heroism for himself. It’s nice that the concept of honor is completely separated from revenge. The true hero, we are taught, deals in mercy, and not in bitter ‘justice’. It was very well done.

Overall Conclusion: 8.5/10

This was a great story. I must admit, I find myself lucky lately in picking very good ones. We’ll see how that holds during the rest of the summer. I really couldn’t put this book down, and I kept remarking to my family about how good it was. I do wish, however, that the characters had been developed a bit more fully. I would still, however, recommend this book to everyone.

    

Next Book: Scaramouch

Book # 2: The Phantom of the Opera

The Phantom of the Opera; by Gaston Leroux 

     The second completed book for my summer challenge! I have also read this one before, but, in my defense, it was an abridged version, and it was a long time ago. Still, for the sake of fairness, I won’t do my retro-active reviews (because what purpose do they really serve, other than to tell me the things that I wished I had known about a book before I read it?). Instead, I shall babble as before – only much shorter.

     I really enjoy French authors. I’m not a huge Francophile, but they do write excellent literature! Gaston Leroux wrote a great book. It was cleverly told, as if it were a historical discovery, and mixed in rael people and events with the fictitious account of the disfigured phantom and the little soprano Christine Daae. The book, admittedly, was a bit creepy in some parts, but that was balanced out by the humor really well. The managers of the theater were most amusing! I also really enjoyed the way that Leroux would tell one part of the story, and would then double back to tell it again from a completely different point of view, and would thus fill in holes in the narrative!

     The Persian was my favorite character, by far. I wish that he had been included in the movie. I wasn’t a huge Raoul fan. He was just really whiney and he cried all the time! Just take the girl away from the opera house!!!!!!!!!!! No one can hurt you in the day time!!!!!!!!!!!!! But anyways, the whole Christine and Raoul romance wasn’t that exciting. I kind of wish that the whole book had been about the phantom before he came to Paris. His life sounded pretty exciting back then…

     Anyways, it was an excellent book. I couldn’t put it down. This post seems a bit abrupt and I must confess that I do feel the need to supplement it with something, so here’s a video of Antonio Banderas singing the Phantom of the Opera: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S88rkpPu8_g 

Next Book: The Black Arrow

Book #1: Howl's Moving Castle

Howl's Moving Castle - Diana Wynne Jones

     Ok, the first book that I’ve successfully completed for this year’s summer challenge is Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones. I’ll freely admit, this is not the first time that I’ve read this book (but that was never a part of the rules :P), or even the second, or even the third. In all honesty the number of times that I’ve read this book borders more on the side of twenty than it does ten. It is, in fact, my most favorite book. ever. in the world. period. I could try and review it, but it would be horribly biased, because I think that it’s wonderful. So, instead, I’ll just chat about what I like about it, and fill this with random quotes and pictures from the movie. 

     The story centers around one, Sophie Hatter, from the small town of Market Chipping, in the magical land of Ingary. Sophie is the unfortunate eldest of three (for as anyone can tell you, an eldest of three will never do anything exciting, and will never make her fortune) and is resigned to her fate of taking over her family’s hat shop while grooming her two younger sisters to set out and seek their fortunes. As luck would have it, Sophie has a nasty run-in with the witch of the waste and comes off the worse, having been cursed. Now, instead of the youthful, if not a bit dull, girl that Sophie was, she’s now an old woman! As a result of her curse Sophie sees no other course than to strike off on her own and try and remove it, and, as luck would grant her further, she runs into none other than the Horrible Wizard Howl, known to be just as bad as the witch of the waste! Hilarity ensues as Sophie now tries to break, not only her own curse, but Howl’s as well. :D

Sophie Hatter

     I really liked Sophie. She starts out kind of dull and uninteresting, but becomes a feisty sort of person. I also see a little bit of myself in her, which is always enjoyable.

Quotes from/about Sophie:

“Yes, you are nosey. You’re a dreadfully nosy, horribly bossy, appallingly clean old woman.

 Control yourself. You're victimizing us all."    -- Howl

“I make that four horses and ten men just to get rid of one old woman... 

What did you do to the King?” -- Howl

“It is quite a risk to spank a wizard for getting hysterical about his hair.”-- Sophie

             “By now it was clear that Howl was in a mood to produce green slime any second. 

Sophie hurriedly put her sewing away. "I'll make some hot buttered toast," she said. 

"Is that all you can do in the face of tragedy?" Howl asked. "Make toast?” 

The castle is really cool too. It looks huge, and also like it's going to fall apart as it rumbles around (but of course it won't). The neat thing is that it's really in four different places at once! In one place it's roaming around the hills near Sophie's town, it's also a disused stable in the capital of Inagry, and it's a little house in a place called Porthaven. The fourth place is secret ;) The inside of the castle is very small, having only four rooms, which, of course, makes it much easier for Sophie to clean!

The Castle around Market Chipping

The Street in Kingsbury

The door that opens to different places depending on what color is turned up! 

And then, there was Howl!

Howl is my favorite part of the books. I don't think I could describe him as well as the author, so here's Sophie's description as found in another book, Castle in the Air: 

“Tell me about this Wizard Howl of yours."

"He's the best wizard in Ingary, or anywhere else. If he'd only had time he would have defeated that djinn. And he's sly and selfish and vain as a peacock and cowardly, and you can't pin him down to anything."

"Indeed? Strange that you should speak so proudly such a list of vices, most loving of ladies."

"What do you mean vices? I was just describing Howl. He comes from another world entirely, you know, called Wales."

And there you have, that's Howl, in all of his beautiful, childish vain-glory!

Howl before and after his hair gets dyed.

Quotes from.about Howl:

“For a plain man with mud-colored hair, he’s terribly vain about his looks.” – Calicifer

                “Look. Survey. Inspect. My hair is ruined! I look like a pan of bacon and eggs!”

            “I see no point in living if I can’t be beautiful!”

            “You must admit, I have the right to live in a pigsty if I want.”

            “I’m dying of boredom… or maybe just dying”

            “I feel ill," [Howl] announced. "I'm going to bed, where I may die.” 

             “I''m delirious. Spots are crawling before my eyes."

            "Those are spiders.”

Another great thing about the book, beside the humor, is the way it folded in things from this world into the fantasy land.

Song

GO and catch a falling star,
Get with child a mandrake root,
Tell me where all past years are,
Or who cleft the devil's foot,
Teach me to hear mermaids singing,
Or to keep off envy's stinging,
            And find
            What wind
Serves to advance an honest mind.

If thou be'st born to strange sights,
Things invisible to see,
Ride ten thousand days and nights,
Till age snow white hairs on thee,
Thou, when thou return'st, wilt tell me,
All strange wonders that befell thee,
            And swear,
            No where
Lives a woman true and fair.

If thou find'st one, let me know,
Such a pilgrimage were sweet;
Yet do not, I would not go,
Though at next door we might meet,
Though she were true, when you met her,
And last, till you write your letter,
            Yet she
            Will be
False, ere I come, to two, or three.

-- John Donne

This poem was the curse that the Witch of the Waste placed on Howl. As each of the impossible things was fulfilled she could come closer and closer to putting her hand on him. This also, happens to be my favorite poem, written by my favorite poet!

There were also several Tolkien and Shakespeare references, and a reference to the illustrious Welsh drinking/Rugby song sosban fach. 

All in all, it's a fantastic book, and I love it a lot. (for more conservative people wishing to read things, this book MAY not be for you. It is a children's book, but it is magical. There are witches and wizards in Ingary, and there are demons that serve some of them. It may be noted, however, that demons, and devils are differentiated. Demons are actually falling stars that are just called demons by people who don't know any better. 'Devils', so-called, are not really commented upon. Be ye warned, though, just in case.). It's my favorite, and I would most heartily suggest it to all the people of the world!!!!!! 

** All pictures are from the Hayo Miazaki film of the same name. It is also an excellent film, but is only VERY loosely associated with the plot of the book. 


Next Book: The Phantom of the Opera

Summer Challenge

Summer. A time resplendent with endless possibilities and many empty days, just waiting to be filled. So, what better way to fill them than with reading? College makes it hard to read for pleasure and my list of books that I ought to read in my life has grown quite long. So, the challenge: I want to read as many books as I possibly can this summer! I'm setting my goal at thirty. This seems reasonable and I have every hope that I should exceed it. I'll record my progress here, and blog about each book that I read. In order to manage this I'll need to finish a little more than two books a week. Here goes nothing!

Book Number One: Howl's Moving Castle Diana Wynne Jones